a couple of months, after years of hiding, I took the noble practice of kundalini yoga. Citing the star of "Kissing Jessica Stein", twice a week I'm sitting cross-legged in breathing with a group of strangers, trying not to hyperventilate and go without an anxiety attack. Yoga ago well balanced body and mind and for people like me who has given up entirely to the Catholic religion and culture, nourishes the spiritual part of every human being has within himself, regardless of the "gift" of faith.
It's actually my surrogate analysis.
After being abandoned by my therapist two years ago after five years, I have filled the void by replacing the mother analyst with the Father yoga teacher. Not bat an eyelid. Everything else comes later. Each cluster
human, whether the meeting of bored housewives who attempt of delivering a story set 20 of tupperware, ol'adunata of born-again Christians who want to convince you that the end of the world is actually a big opportunity; gli esseri umani mettono in atto sempre le stesse dinamiche.
Il target tipico del corso yoga è la signora 45/55enne radical chic, residente a Roma Nord/Centro Storico, che si presenta in divisa d’ordinanza: casacca di lino o organza, pantalone leggero, turbante accuratamente acconciato a coprire i capelli, coprispalle in cachemire, il tutto rigorosamente bianco. Il bianco è un colore consigliato per la pratica dello yoga, perché lascia fluire meglio l’energia, e in alcuni posti è anzi d’obbligo. A completare il corredo, la collana tibetana, il gioiello comprato durante l’ultimo viaggio in India, preferibilmente un anellone d’argento anticato o gli orecchini di oro giallo, il tappetino professionale, cover in mohair. The undersigned is presented in the order yesterday wearing: pants gunmetal gray, that rather than passing the energy to shoot him, bought on sale from Decathlon, green T-shirt bought in Camden Town with over a girl holding a stylized hand grenade, gray hooded sweatshirt with texture voodoo dolls stuck with pins, faux fleece cover orange ANAS had a gift card with the ACI do not know who, distraught hair and up to 5 minutes before ray ban aviator blue cover circles tone sur tone.
The radical chic looks at me wrong, if I sat next to her crashed the energy. The room is as big as the living room of the house of Barbie in 1:1 scale, we more than twenty to breathe the same air, saturated with walking barefoot. Luckily they are all cool shower. After the first break and make eye contact with a guy who I believe to know, look, I'm sure I have met him at Buco (gay beach of Ostia) or some local Gayo. He bit me and get shot, he is convinced to know me, we chat a bit 'but after 5 minutes there direct evidence: during the week we go to the cinema? Leave me your number? I, taken aback, put together a series of apologies by the book: next week ... they are messy work, the cat has an ear infection, must come to wipe my mattress with anti vaporella mites, I leave for New Zealand. The course is taught
three teachers who rotate. The first is from a woman with an unpronounceable Indian name, because teachers of yoga in addition to the first name chosen by Mom and Dad have the latter as "spiritual" I have not understood correctly assigned by whom. So that one up to 35 years is called Cesira, after some 'of the lotus position and breathe fire, it becomes Savarahrtipilomu, which means full of light type and slightly smelling of ginger. This woman scares me, it's a valkyrie high, looking like a princess of ice, straight as if he had a plumb line from the neck to the asshole, impassive. The first time I went to inquire about the course she was, the thing I wanted to make sure it was: you are very radical? Like, if I eat a slice of salami on my knees I put on the seeds of quinoa? She incinerated saying that yoga is not fitness but also spirituality. Immediately chose the other teacher.
The day will slip away well, I'm 7 hours but I do not weigh. The humiliation, however, is always around the corner: One of the students of the Ice Princess Josephine and 80 years. The lady has two disturbing features: it is more flexible than me and never complains. On the other hand I am 35 years old, I can not touch my ankles and I invoke the Geneva Conventions whenever the exercise a little muscle forces me to rest for at least 15 years.
After lunch, vegetarian, the dance of the angels and the mantra that had to be easy but it was actually a tongue-in Aramaic that only the veterans with the silver ring fluty singing voice and perfect accent, it comes at the time of psychodrama group. We had to take a picture of us with children from their parents. I do not think I even had one with both, and anyway I've forgotten Freudian. The exercise you can do the same: a couple with a stranger should tell condensed 12 years of childhood trauma in 5 minutes. At the end we must turn to tell their feelings to others and the result is a shocking crescendo. It starts with soft elements in common with people you've never seen, Family perfect childhoods of Mulino Bianco, removed to get to trauma, abandonment by parents, relationships and everything ends in triumph anaffattivi of free hugs from strangers and rain of Kleenex.
Anyone who knows me is shocked by the fact that it can attend a yoga class and find myself in such situations. I think it's always just too easy to be sarcastic, cynical and nihilistic, I laugh at them and me, practice with a critical eye, I like to grasp its most paradoxical but in fact I eat so dissimilar from my own experiences of nature and irreverent enriches me confront people who never went out of there.
Sat Nam everyone.
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